Here's what's happening, people:
• Just when we thought we couldn't love Katharine McPhee more, the "Scorpion" actress recently shared a funny photo of herself eating a cheeseburger and fries as part of her "New Year's resolution diet" (above). But then again, she isn't showing an ounce of that burger anywhere on her flawless bikini body, so we take it all back. We couldn't hate Katharine McPhee more.
• Speaking of women who love a good burger, we once asked swimsuit siren Kara Del Toro about her turn as a bikini-clad volleyball player in a commercial for Carl's Jr. Watch the interview below for a clip (or click here for more of Kara's pics), then curse yourself for not having the same burger-burning metabolism as these two ladies:
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• After giving a "disastrous," "horrible," "train wreck" of a performance at "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve," during which she barely sang or even danced, Mariah Carey's team is claiming that Dick Clark Productions sabotaged her live performance for better ratings. But let's be honest: The pre-recorded vocal tracks that play underneath her songs are proof enough that she wasn't going to try too hard anyway:
• Very early on Sunday morning, an unidentified vandal altered L.A.'s iconic Hollywood sign to read "Hollyweed" (below). Furthermore, the LAPD has explained that the man — who remains on the loose — used only a few simple tarps to accomplish the feat, just in case any rowdy teenagers in the L.A. area are looking for an easy, victimless, and hilarious crime to recreate in the near future.
• Late last week during a trip to Rome, tennis legend Serena Williams got engaged to Reddit co-founder Alexis Ohanian. It's unclear exactly how Ohanian proposed, but we imagine he vowed to keep Williams up-to-date on all the latest memes, fan theories, and disgusting fast-food stories for the rest of her days.
• A few days before New Year's, Miley Cyrus and fiancée Liam Hemsworth paid a visit to the Rady Children’s Hospital of San Diego, where they met with patients, posed for photos, and generally spread some (surprisingly) wholesome cheer. The hospital itself even uploaded a short video of the visit to Facebook, which further confirms that Miley refrained from twerking in a leukemia patient's face:
• And finally, according to a "showbiz insider" who spoke with Page Six, Jennifer Lopez and Drake aren't actually dating despite all those lovey-dovey photos they keep posting online. "This relationship is fake," he/she claims. "It is just a publicity stunt to publicize their record together." In related and equally obvious news, water is wet.